God's Ways Are Higher Than Ours

I am afraid, as I begin to write, that I will not be able to adequately express our awe and sense of gratitude for all that God has done. 

On Wednesday April 6th at lunchtime I got a call from Amy, my best friend from High School.  She felt the need to call and encourage me as her cousins just got a hospital call and in a matter of days had a baby in their arms.  It was a sweet call to remind me that God's timing is perfect and He did have a baby for us it was just a matter of waiting for that baby to come along.  I went about the next hour or so putting the kids down for naps and honestly (for once) not thinking I wonder if the agency will call today.

At 1pm Aaron walked in the door and announced that Jonathan Michael (the name we had chosen if our baby was a boy) was born Tuesday afternoon and we need to sit down and pray about him.  I was floored.  He explained that the agency somehow had his work number as our home number and the director of the adoption program had called him at work.  There was a little boy born the day before.  His birth mom did not have any prenatal care and had drunk excessively throughout the pregnancy.  We knew from our adoption classes that exposure to alcohol while in the womb was worse than if she had used illegal drugs.   The doctors at the hospital said they did not see any physical evidence that the baby had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome but he was experiencing withdrawls and was very agitated and unable to keep formula down.  Aaron told me that the baby was born at 8 lb 12 oz and I just fell apart.  I couldn't believe there was a baby that actually had a weight and was laying in a hospital just waiting for us to come pick him up.  We prayed about this little life and called back the agency to let them know we wanted to go be with him as soon as possible. 

On the road!!!

With Christine (first time holding him)

Daddy meets his new son

From the time Aaron and I found out about Jonathan we both had such a peace.  We just knew no matter what complications may arise from the alcohol this was our baby and we would love him no matter what.  In our classes we had been told that attachment may take some time we may feel guarded until we know the birth parents had signed consents but we believed this baby was the one God had prepared us for.  We walked around dazed and tried to pack for the kids to go stay with friends as well as get clothes and stuff for ourselves.  We were on the road in a couple of hours to go get our boy.  We were overwhelmed with love for this little man without knowing anything about him but his struggle to come into this world and the odds stacked against him.

We arrived in Phoenix too late to be escorted to the hospital by the pregnancy counselor so we went to Ryan and Sarah's guest house where we stayed during our classes.   They had gone grocery shopping and stocked the fridge with breakfast foods and our comfort foods.  Sarah had set up a cradle and stocked it with burp rags and receiving blankets.  Ryan met us at the car and asked if they could pray with us before we went to bed.  We sat with them and prayed for little Jonathan that someone would hold him as he went through the withdrawls and that he would have a special nurse who would love him that night.  We prayed that God would comfort him and prepare us for his needs.  Neither of us slept well we just couldn't calm down and get our minds to rest.  I got up at 3:30am and prayed and showered and tried to mentally prepare myself for so many unknowns that were ahead.  We arrived at the agency and met Christine, the pregnancy counselor, to follow her up to the hospital.  When we arrived the hospital really didn't know what to do with us.  They said that because the agency had custody of Jonathan we could not be with him unless Christine was with us at all times.  Typically the pregnancy worker introduces the adoptive parents to the hospital staff and the parents receive wristbands and can be with the baby as much as the birth parents allow.  Jonathan's birth mom had already left the hospital and so they would not give us wrist bands.  Christine walked us up to the nursery where there were two babies in bassinets.  One little peanut and one HUGE swaddled bundle.  She said, "There he is?"  I asked which one and she said, "The big one!"  Jonathan's nurse, Diane, wheeled him out as Christine and Katie (the hospital's social worker) discussed what to do with us.  Diane told us Jonathan was a very cranky baby and had been very agitated all night.  She had held him while she did her orders and talked to him to soothe him (answer to our prayers).  Aaron and I stood there overwhelmed not knowing if we were allowed to pick him up or touch him.  It was kind of awkward.  Christine and Katie worked it out for us to visit with Jonathan in an empty patient room as long as Christine was there.  We pushed Jonathan to his room and he started to fuss.  I still didn't know if we were allowed to hold him or care for him as the hospital seemed really uncomfortable with us at first.  Finally I told Christine, "Bag it, I'm picking him up he needs to be held."  From that moment on he was the most content baby I have ever seen.  He seemed to know us right away and was soothed by our voices.  The night before when we were talking with Ryan and Sarah she warned us that he might be so hyper-aroused from coming off the alcohol that we could only talk quietly to him and work up to touching his had then caressing etc.  He immediately seemed to bond with us (another answer to prayer).

Katie was able to get us permission to care for Jonathan and we ended up staying the night with him in a private room.  The staff even put a little picture of a nest of eggs on our door that said-"Nesting" so we wouldn't be disturbed.

Nurse Diane

With Katie

With Dr. Fleischaker

Heading home!!!

We had prayed that the staff would comfort and care for Jonathan as he struggled with withdrawl symptoms and Dr Fleischaker was a HUGE answer to that prayer.  She was the pediatrician attending to him and she was actually able to talk with the birth mom and encourage her.  Dr. Fleischaker said she had called in a specialist to check on Jonathan in the night because she was so concerned for him and he was having such a difficult time with the withdrawl (constant, sucking, throwing up and tremors).  The specialist told her he would have to just get through the withdrawls and there wasn't anything to really do for him.  Dr. Fleischaker said that wasn't good enough he is little and uncomfortable.  She had obviously bonded with Jonathan and she continued to be a God sent advocate for him.  She was knowledgeable about future concerns for Jonathan and wrote us a letter and chart notes to make sure we could file for subsidy in the future.  She even called our pediatrician in Havasu to make sure he was fully aware of the symptoms and markings of FAS and would thuroughly check Jonathan.  We took pictures of each person who cared for Jonathan in the hospital so that he would know that he wasn't alone.  God ordained special people to care for him and love him when we couldn't be there.


We cannot even Imagine how all the details could have come together to bring Jonathan into our family.  We are confident that God ordained this little man coming into our lives at just this time.  God has been faithful in each step of our journey and we are amazed when we look at the steps He took in leading Jonathan's birth mom as well.  There are somethings about Jonathan's story that are personal and only his to share but when we ponder the events of the past year we clearly see the hand print of God and we cannot think of a better place for our family to be than resting in the tender hand of our savior.  Thank you for praying us through this process.  Prayer accomplishes much!